Mindfulness in My Day to Day Life

Image shows a cartoon of  a monk smiling, wearing orange robes, holding a bowl sitting cross-legged on the grass, he is holding a bowl and next to him is a cat. Caption reads: Enjoy the little things. Picture by Molly at Buddha Doodles

 

I feel like a lot of this blog has become focused on the  theory of mindfulness and that means I haven’t talked so much about mindfulness in a more practical way.  This is partly because reading informs a lot of my practice and I want to share what I learn  in the hope that it will be useful to other  people.  I have been keeping up a daily meditation practice and while I don’t feel I have become particularly skilled at meditation, I do feel like  it is having a positive effect on my life outside of practice, so I thought I would share with you some of the ways that I have noticed this.

The first example would be being  able to respond rather than reacting so that  in a discussion, things are able to stay a lot calmer and not escalate into situations that become a lot more difficult to deal with.

The second area where I have noticed changes is  when it comes to dealing with rejection, I’m applying for a lot of things at the moment and that inevitably leads to a fair amount of rejection. in the past, I have really let situations like this get to me and not dealt with them very well. Mindfulness has been helping me turn that situation around and help me see the positives within the situation. I found this article really helpful,  but the number one thing I am trying  to remember about getting rejected is that  it means you’re putting yourself out there and doing something.

I used to  be very susceptible to being dragged down by my own negative thought processes about what I could have done better or how things could have been different. Now I find it a lot easier to see it all as  a learning process and just keep going. This is not to say that I don’t get dragged into  conversations with my inner critic at times, but  I am a lot better at metaphorically walking away if that makes sense.

My third   observation is related to mindful eating but is a bit more specific than that, lately, whenever I have been having a little treat, be that  a chocolate bar  or a favourite drink I have been remembering  to pay attention  to all the reasons why I love it.  This has 2 advantages in that I get more  enjoyment out of it and I’m less likely to over indulge because I am paying attention properly. This is  particularly useful when you have a sweet tooth like I do.

I think this shows (to me at least) that even when I feel that meditation isn’t going well, commitment to the practice can still make a difference, just maybe not in the ways I first expected.

 

 

 

Dealing with Change

Cartoon drawing of a little monk in orange robes, smiling with his arms out to his sides. there is grass beneath his feet and blue sky surrounds him. Next to him is a diamond-shaped yellow sign that reads ‘Change Ahead’ Caption is “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them that only creates sorrow” Lao Tzu. Picture by Molly at Buddha Doodles

Change is something I struggle with at times. One of the reasons I began my mindfulness practice was to try and deal with the anxiety I felt when changes were happening that I could not control.  (Like not knowing what was happening with my care funding).

Another thing I have noticed is that when you need mindfulness the most and when you would get the most benefit from it is when  it seems the hardest to do. So my first piece of advice is simply whenever you feel like you should be meditating,  but  for whatever reason you can’t find the motivation to do a more formal practice, simply fake it for a few breaths. Once you do this you may feel like you want to meditate  for longer  and you may not,  whichever is fine, either way, hopefully you’ll feel a little calmer.

If you can it is helpful to keep up your mindfulness routine whenever you are going through a period of change. If you can’t manage to do that, try and bring mindfulness into your day in a more flexible way, like really focusing on  enjoying your favourite treat or focusing on the breath whenever you find yourself waiting for something.

There are a few other things that mindfulness practice has taught me that I find helpful:

Allow yourself to feel however you are feeling just acknowledge those emotions and try and let them pass without getting too involved in them. If you beat yourself up for not being as good with change as you would like to be that just adds another layer of resistance.

Make sure you continue to communicate. This can be particularly important when you have specific needs. It’s important to try and be honest with the people around you and even if it is hard to start with, it might make things easier in the long run.

Give yourself space and time to adjust to the difference, whatever that may be. Try not to fall into the trap of expecting things to be perfect straight away or being disappointed when they don’t live up to the image that you had inside your head.

Most of all remember that you can always come back to your breath

Let me know how mindfulness has helped you deal with change, or if you find any of these ideas helpful.